Especially Yours
by Kiyoshi Kitana
Summary: The thing about new bodies, Alphonse realizes the first night, is that you have to learn to control them. 2000 words. Elricest. Not CoS compliant.


**Title:** Especially Yours

**Author:** Kitana

**Warnings:** Soft R; Elricest. _The thing about new bodies, Alphonse realizes the first night, is that you have to learn to control them. 2000~ words._

**Notes:** This fic doesn't have a real canonical setting; it assumes Ed was able to get Al's body back at the end of the series, so CoS isn't applicable at all here. This fic is also stylistically different from most things I write, but I'm happy with it anyway.

***

The thing about new bodies, Alphonse realizes the first night, is that you have to learn to control them. Usually a person goes through this stage as a toddler – learning the parts of the body and how they function. Before, Alphonse knew the parts of the body, mostly, and in a vague sense he even knew what it is they do. He spent a lot of time in his armour thinking about how the body works. He watched Edward as often as he could get away with; Ed could always feel his gaze if he lingered too long.

Through watching, Alphonse filled in the gaps his memory left. Yet now, that knowledge is somehow inefficient. He knows how to walk and run, but his legs wobble and force him to the floor. Ed had to help him into the dining room chair for dinner. He hasn't had to eat in so long, and the silverware feels awkward under his fingertips. Alphonse doesn't expect Edward to grasp his hand with his own so that he can get the spoon positioned _just so_, but it's what Edward does for him, so Alphonse tries to not feel embarrassed.

"Brother," Alphonse says, and he can feel his throat vibrate when he speaks. It's still a little unnerving.

A slice of bread is only inches away from Ed's mouth. "What is it, Al? Don't tell me you're full already," he replies with a grin, and bites into the bread.

"No," Al says, but he doesn't make any move to eat more. "It's all so new, isn't it? I guess not for you, but," Al isn't quite sure what he's trying to say, so he just says the first thing that comes to mind. "It makes more sense in theory than it does in action – moving, I mean. I didn't think it was supposed to be this hard."

Edward makes a sort of agreeing noise around his mouthful of bread, and then swallows. "Yeah, I get what you're saying, Al, but don't worry about it, okay? I'll help you as much as you want."

"Right," Alphonse says, and manages to smile despite the uselessness welling up inside of him.

***

It's a full week before Alphonse can walk by himself and, while it's refreshing, he finds himself missing Edward's steadying arm attached firmly to his waist. Today, Edward's gone to the library to find new reading material for the both of them, and Al isn't sure of what to do to pass the time until then.

Edward has been far more patient with him in the last week than he probably has with anyone in his whole life. Edward hadn't left him to his own devices for more than twenty minutes up until now, even going as far as to cut his waffles one morning when Al couldn't make his knife and fork cooperate. Al knows he shouldn't feel like he owes Edward for his patience – they are brothers, after all, and Ed would pitch a fit if he protested – but he can't help but feel indebted, and he's never taken people's kindnesses very well anyway.

So when Edward comes home from the library, precariously balancing a stack of books in each arm, Alphonse takes as many books as he can carry before Ed can get both feet in the door. It's a start, he knows, a start towards being helpful again.

"Welcome home," Alphonse says, and pulls Ed into a hug once he's unloaded the other armful of books.

Alphonse thinks he's possibly done something wrong when Ed stiffens, but he's reassured when strong arms encircle him, hugging back. Edward is warmth and sunshine, and even though the tight hug leaves Edward's automail digging painfully into his sides, Alphonse wonders how he spent the last few years without this.

He's further rewarded with a smile as Ed pulls away and says, "What did I do to deserve that, huh? Should I be bringing you books more often?"

"You _could_ always bring me more books," Alphonse replies, laughing when Edward gives him a face that plainly says _you only love me for the books_, _how cruel of you_.

He hasn't felt this normal in seemingly forever.

***

Two weeks later, and sensation is still a new thing to Alphonse. He's been bathing in boiled water because water from the tap is too hard, and he wears Edward's clothes because the new ones bought for him are too starched and itchy. Even his room is always too chill at night, though he resolutely doesn't complain about it. It's not until Edward pops in one night to talk and gets around to asking him why he's fully clothed on a balmy summer night that he finally decides to explain anything.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Ed asks, and the look in his eye makes Alphonse desperate to crawl beneath his blankets and apologize for being a disappointment.

"I just didn't want you to worry, Ed," he responds, unable to avoid meeting his brother's eyes. "You've done nothing but worry about me since you brought my body back. I didn't want to make it worse."

"Al," Edward sighs; he then pauses. There's nothing he can say to Alphonse that he hasn't already said before. He reaches down to ruffle Al's hair instead and smiles. "I'm going to always worry about you; you're just going to have to live with me driving you batty with it."

"If you say so," Alphonse says and smiles back, happy that Ed isn't truly angry with him for not speaking up. Edward stretches and yawns before sitting on Al's bed, forcing him to scoot over and make room. It takes some maneuvering before both of them can lay on the bed comfortably, with Al on his side facing Ed, and Ed laying on his back. They then lay in silence for a time, before Ed shifts again.

"Your bed is softer than mine," Ed says, punctuating his sentence with another yawn. Alphonse smiles again; he knows a pretense when he hears one. "If I fall asleep, you won't mind, right?"

"I won't," Alphonse replies, and the room falls silent again. He closes his eyes.

In the morning, he wakes up with half of Edward sprawled on top of him. He isn't cold at all.

***

It is another two weeks before Alphonse has his motor skills return to him fully. He is happy to realize he can do the things he could before, and has dived back into alchemy with a vengeance. He has been paying Edward back in small ways for his patience with him, taking small burdens from the older Elric. He braids Edward's hair in the morning, solving the issue of strands of hair caught in automail joints. He double checks Edward's alchemy notes and makes them flawless.

It's during this time that Alphonse realizes that his perception of Edward has shifted. It is during this time that Alphonse comes to a conclusion and makes his decision.

Edward is usually home after him, but this night, Alphonse stays a little later at the library. He checks out books that the librarian raises an eyebrow at, but says nothing about. He smiles at her reassuringly before leaving, knapsack in hand.

When he arrives, Edward is lounging on the living room couch, reading the comments Alphonse has left in the margins of his notebook.

"I didn't think that adding a loop to the middle of the array would make it more powerful," Edward says, watching his brother out of the corner of his eye. "But I'm pretty sure you're right. You're better with the technical side than I am."

"I'm glad," Alphonse hums. He takes the books out of his knapsack one by one and stacks them on the table. He's made sure the rinds aren't visible, so that Edward can't read the titles yet.

Edward is short, but the length of his body takes up the entirety of their couch somehow anyway. Alphonse sits on the floor instead, directly in front of Edward. He watches as his brother turns a page in the notebook, then points at his scribbled handwriting. "Can't read what you wrote here," Ed murmurs before handing the tablet off to Alphonse. Alphonse peers at it momentarily and says, "Your abbreviation for thorium is wrong; Tm is thulium."

Before Edward can reach for the notebook to look again, Alphonse closes it and sets it beside him. "I have a question, brother," Alphonse says.

"What about?" Ed says, and his eyebrows practically hit the ceiling when Alphonse responds: "Could you ever hate me?"

"No, of course not Al, why the hell would you even--"

Edward's words are cut short when Alphonse leans over and presses a kiss to his lips. He doesn't move when Alphonse pulls away, only locks gazes with his brother. The ensuing silence seems to envelop them both; Edward licks his lips and says, finally, "Is that it?"

Alphonse blinks, perplexed. "You aren't surprised?"

"Yeah, but," Edward starts as he sits straight up. Alphonse, resting on his knees, is eye level to his chest. "Not in the way you think."

Edward leans over and grabs Alphonse by his arms, pulls him bodily into his lap with little effort or resistance from Alphonse. Alphonse's expression flickers from calm to nervous when Edward angles up for another kiss, but he returns it eagerly, shivers when Ed's teeth graze his lower lip. He grips the back of the couch when Edward's tongue slips between his lips, boldly exploring the contours of his mouth. His fingers find Ed's hair, tugs until the single hair tie comes undone. Edward finally pulls away, and Alphonse can see the flush of his brother's lips, thinks that it must match his own.

"When?" Ed asks, and his lips brush Alphonse's with the question. They're barely an inch apart.

Alphonse pauses to think as Edward's hair unravels over his fingers. "When I did this for this first time," Alphonse ultimately states, and the pads of his fingertips rub against the nape of Ed's neck.

Edward tilts his head back with a small, contented noise.

"Then you did that," Alphonse continues. He leans over, licks the exposed line of Edward's neck, and is rewarded with Ed's grip on his hips tightening. "And I haven't stopped thinking about it since."

Alphonse presses his lips to Ed's throat, can feel sound vibration against them when Edward hums in affirmation. He is surprised by the calmness Edward exudes, and he can't help but echo Edward's question back at him.

It requires no extra thought before Ed replies. "Since we restored you."

Alphonse finds that he has nothing to say in response and instead tickles Ed's throat with soft, open-mouthed kisses. Ed sucks in a breath; he shifts just enough for Al to feel his erection pressing firmly against his ass.

"Brother," Al begins, pressing his lips against Ed's again. His fingers tangle in Edward's hair as the kisses become more insistent; the kisses they share are wet and messy with inexperience, but Ed's tongue is touching his, and it makes him shiver and squirm in Edward's lap. He can feel his own arousal clamoring for more attention; waking up with one has never held the urgency he feels now, and it's a novel sensation.

It isn't until Edward shudders and gasps harshly against his lips that Alphonse remembers what he originally meant to do. He pulls away reluctantly, motions towards the table a few feet away as he slides off of Edward's lap.

"I brought books," Alphonse says, and the pointed look he receives from Edward makes it that much more worth it. He grabs the first one, flips to the dog-eared page number 154, slides back on to Edward's lap. "Let's try this."

Alphonse can't be sure what's more appealing -- the look of shock on Edward's face, or the fierce blush that rises to his cheeks.

"I must have rubbed off you," Edward says and tosses the book aside. He's not sure when his younger brother became such a deviant, but he doesn't mind so much. He only thinks that Alphonse managed to steal his plan and execute it first.

***

The two full months of leave is up for Edward, and he and Alphonse have arrived in Central for Edward to report for duty. Alphonse, despite Ed's reservations, has decided he's going to take the State Alchemist's exam. Today is that day, and there is a tremor of nervousness in his belly. Alphonse looks in the mirror to make sure his shirt adequately covers the markedly vibrant bruising Edward's teeth have left, and he gets a secret thrill remembering page number 277. He ended up paying the library for the copies of the books he took, which garnered open staring from the librarian.

He steps away from the mirror, satisfied, and heads for the front door where Edward is waiting.

"You know I'm not happy about this," Edward says as soon as Al crosses the threshold. Alphonse can nearly see the storm clouds hovering over Edward's head.

"Naturally," Alphonse laughs in response. He shrugs a jacket on to his shoulders. "I'm sure I'll pass."

"That's not the part I'm worried about," Edward mutters. He opens the front door and waves towards Al. "Come on, Havoc's already here."

"Be right there," Alphonse says and grabs his hat.

It's only briefly that he thinks about it, but Alphonse remembers when Edward first took the State Alchemist's exam years prior. That time seems light years away in comparison to how he lives now. Edward yells for him to hurry up and he dashes out of the door, barely hearing it click shut.

He hopes he feels this normal forever.

_~Owari~_


End file.
